Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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