Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
