if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
