some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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