Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Are my feet made of real feet?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
