ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
