hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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