what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
