Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
