Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
