Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i dont even know how to be here
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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