I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
