i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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