I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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