I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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