You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Randomize
