She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
