If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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