i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
