I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize
