so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
