I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize