I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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