Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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