You work out of a Hotel?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
