Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
