there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
