there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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