P.S. I can't hear my feet
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
