Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
