My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
