I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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