WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
