I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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