I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
