She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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