Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
