I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
