Princesses don't give blow jobs
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
