How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
the liver wants what the liver wants
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
