sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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