I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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