i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
