So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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