i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
