is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
