I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
