This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
