So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
