My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I want her autograph on my taint
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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