How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize