There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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