have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
