I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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