Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
we're so committed to being not committed
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
