discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
