Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
