After last night, I could never be a politician.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
