so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
