if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
