How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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