why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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